you asking me to go out that saturday morning was a complete surprise. we were just talking about the hip hop songs you suggested earlier that afternoon. and we got around to talking about hey ma.

batman: what's your age and type?
batgirl: i look at you and say, use a baby right.
batman: either we lovin' or i'll see you tomorrow. haha may work ka bukas?

and i thought wala lang, kasi usually naman you really ask if i'm working weekends. when i told you no, i was surprised when you asked "neptune bukas ng umaga?" i had to ask if you're serious TWICE (well, because you were mark. lol) and as soon as you said you were, i started panicking. oh what to wear? geez, i have to shave my legs. omg, i am so dry. and FUCK, i have a pimple on my upper lip.

so there i was, up until 1AM mentally preparing myself. while you of course, slept without telling me... again. third strike na. pero okay lang, papalagpasin ko at magkikita naman tayo the next day. :]

i wake up at 730am with a splitting headache. 30 minutes later, i get a wake up call from you. you had just woken up. by that time, i was smiling.. the day has started out right. you now resorted to phone calls, rather than text messages. :] i have always dreamed of being woken up by a guy through a phone call, where i won't have to worry about long distance rates. we talk and we talk, until it is almost 9am and i have to get ready. i make you promise you'll be at journal square at exactly 11. you promise, and say i'll be there 10:30. :]

it was still cloudy that morning, and i had to do a wardrobe change (i was wearing short shorts HAHAHA). a blue flowery tunic top and black tights, not too seeryas but still casual enough. :] i hop on the R train and by the time i was at the PATH train, i get so anxious. i swear i momentarily had silly grins on my face as i listened to my ipod. i couldn't believe i was going to see you on a saturday morning for a frickin' brunch date. because as you well know, we were both supposed to go out on the 14th after my final. i was more than happy to push it up further, nevermind the fact that i had to write a paper for polsci.

i get off the PATH train and i call you. you tell me to go up the escalator, and you'll be there waiting for me. one flight up, no mark in sight. i get on the second escalator, and you surprise me by giving me a kind of sort of hug me from the back. i say, omigad nagulat naman ako! but what i wanted to say was, hahaha masarap pala when you hold me like that. =))

we walk and cross the ghetto streets of jersey, and we get to your car. again, this didn't seem so real. i was going out with a guy i liked and he's driving me around new jersey. this is just awesome. :] it is waaarm. i take off my sweater and i profusely apologize for being amoy araw/tuta. i spray on my cologne, and you tell me.. "ang bango nyan ha!" ang bango nga, amoy pwet ng baby.

you tell me we'll go somewhere in hoboken to eat. wala naman kasing "real food" sa neptune, you say. by this time, i am utterly surprised. i was seriously just prepared for a quick neptune date because i knew you had a final at 230. i smile, and say OKAY! you lead, i will eat whatever. you admit that you don't know exactly how to get to hoboken. oh my, jersey boy. HAHAHA! i don't know too, my GPS skills are only around new york unfortunately. let's see, you say... left? or right? before i get to say anything, you say.. left siguro!

well, we end up going back to holland tunnel -- the point of no return, in your words. i try to tell you to calm down and not get stressed. i honestly don't mind going around and driving aimlessly around jersey with you. :] you say, fine magpa-gas nalang tayo para maitanong ko na nga. HAHAHA! i laugh and say, stressed ka. relaaaaax! i am okay. gas boy tells us it's on our left side (we should've turned right earlier. haha). and truth be told, you say.. tama! eto nga. alam ko na from here. we drive to downtown hoboken, and you ask, hasn't anyone taken you to a place like this? where'd your boys take you before? i remind you that my last 2 relationships were LDRs. but you say, they visited you. where'd you guys go? i say, nowhere. nowhere like this. :] we drive down by the restaurants along the water to find parking, and by this time i was thinking.. OMG, this is a real brunch date. and this is a frickin' beautiful place. i couldn't resist, and i had to say na WOW ang ganda dito. (hahahaha, FOB.)

we walk around the restaurants and peep at the menus. we decide on the last restaurant on the strip. and, it so happened you knew a guy who worked there. (ay, i swear that guy had a sheepish grin when we walked in and out of that place.) later you tell me, that he's your best friend's friend. we eat at the veranda, overlooking the water. and we talk, and we talk, and talk some more, while eating of course. we talk about our plans after nursing, and more importantly after this semester. we cover all bases, our family and our friends. it is amazing when we talk and look into each other's eyes. :] (you were cute that morning, even if you were breaking out -- just like me. :D)

i ask you what time you need to go so you can get to school on time. it was already around 1. i think to myself, putek ang bilis naman. i am about to go home! and then you ask me, you want to go to school with me? then we can go to neptune afterwards. :D of course, i say. (nevermind that i had to go home coz i promised mom i'll watch dad and tini's bowling tournament with her.) sure ka? OF COURSE. you assure me it'll only take you 20 to 30 minutes tops to take the test. i don't care. :]

we walk back to the car and you again ask me if it's fine for me to go to school with you. and for the nth time, i say it's okay. haha! we drive to your school, passing by red ribbon and indian square (we SALE phone cards!). you complain about the stoplights in jersey city, and i assure you that once i ace my polsci class and become senator, ipapatanggal ko lahat yon para sayo. all my songs play on the radio and i entertain you by singing along. LOL before i know it, we reach your school. (ngayon ko lang narealize na malayo pala, coz it took us 40 minutes to get there.)

it's still early. the exam is at 3:00. it was only 10 past 2. we go to your school library for a quick bathroom break. it was just you and me on the 2nd floor, where the restrooms were (my mind was somewhere else. LOL) and i joke, baka ma-rape ako dito ah. (HAHAHA, kung ikaw na rin lang eh GO.) as we walk back to your car, we see your two polish classmates walking over. you say, patay. sabi ko i had work today kaya di ako makakastudy group. i tell you to tell them i'm your coworker. HAHA! but alas, you introduce me as, miko, your friend. hahaha, kulang ng GIRL. joke laaang! yada yada, you talk about the exam while i stand there awkwardly.

we walk back to your car, and you're pretty indecisive about where to study while waiting for 3:00. i didn't mind sitting outside in the sun, out in the bench while you studied. you decide we'll stay inside your car. you turn up the AC and flip through your notes, while i sat there half-sleepy from all the food we just ate and listening to my ipod. occasionally you would ask me questions about nursing ethics, of which i mostly didn't know the answers. oops. or you would ask me if i was really really okay. and i would say, i really really was. and not to think about me. you say, "how can i not think about you?" :] i was sitting with my back to you, half facing the window.. and out of the blue, as i was scrolling for "Love Story" you ask why i had too many songs with the title "Beautiful" HAHA. i say, because that's me. =)) you resume studying, while i resume listening to love story.. until i blurt out, aww this is my favorite part, the part where the song goes one key higher and the dad finally says yes to their relationship. you ask, what part? i said, basta. i'll make you hear it later. you say, hindi. ngayon na. :] i give you one headphone and i had one on my ear, as i rewinded to that part. "baby, just say yes." and the best part was you didn't take it off as soon as the song finished. we were listening to songs, until it was 10 to 3. :]

before we got off the car, you ask me yet again.. gusto mo dito ka nalang? i insist on stepping out of the car. there was no way i was going to be prima donna. besides, it was too sunny outside. you ask again, okay ka lang nga? (i assumed, na maghintay sa labas.) i said, oo nga. i promise, hindi ako maarte! and you say, okay ka lang nga? na kasama mo ko? i say, yes. okay na okay. you ask, talaga? i say, oo. okay na okay! :]

we walk back to the hall. i point to a bench where i planned to settle in while i waited for you. i tell you, goodluck. wag mong madaliin yung test mo. you say, mabilis lang promise. mga 30 minutes. i say, i don't mind. marami akong songs sa ipod ko, okay? goodluck! you say, ganun nalang yun? :] HAHAHA i laugh, because i am caught off guard (yet again). i tell you, later. as a congratulatory present. in retrospect, i should've. pake ko kung maraming tao don sa harap? but. :) nahiya ako.

i spent approximately 20 minutes waiting for you. i wasn't bored at all. i was listening to music, playing solitaire on my ipod, and texting my friends.. "OMG parang girlfriend lang. nasa school nya ako naghihintay sa kanya habang nagfafinal. HAHAHA!" and true to your word, you come out in 30 minutes. i was listening to "Till They Take My Heart Away" when you were about to grab my shoulders to surprise me yet again. hahaha! we talk about the confusing questions as we walked back to your car. i ask you how you think you did. you say hopefully good, yun lang ang chance mong maka-A. HAHA.

we drive back to neptune. you tell me to put my ipod on. i ask, what do you want me to play? you say, kahit ano. yung nakakakilig. HAHAHAHA! i play.... jack johnson's better together. and we were both so quiet as the song played. it was somewhere in the middle of the song when you turned to me and said, "mapapanaginipan na talaga kita mamaya." :] the drive back to neptune was surprisingly and disappointingly shorter. 

i get excited at the sight of the bakery and the thought of getting my egg custard fix. huwhee! i tell you i want to take home two boxes of these frickin egg custards. LOL you say, sige go! of course, i embarrassed myself when you insisted on paying for it. wahahaha kakahiya. we spent a few minutes eating our danishes inside neptune. we talked about the random facts on snapple. there were 30,000 diets known. you needed to get on one, because you had a big beer belly already. haha

we leave neptune, and by this time i am getting heartbroken by the minute. the day was almost over. the next stop was the PATH train station. i was heading back to new york. i learned though that you also wore contact lenses, 3.75. i see the signs pointing to journal square, and i say to myself.. oh god, this is it. i wanted to tell you, damn the stoplights. we'll leave them as it is, maybe add more.. coz it makes the ride longer. i kind of got the feeling that i wanted to cry coz it was almost over. haha, but but but. :(

okay, no exag. but i kinda didn't want to leave that car. i would do anything to not get into that PATH train station, but home was calling. haha, it was already 5pm and i had to get to the bowling center.

as soon as i got out of the bus on parsons, i tried to call you. you didn't pick up. i swear i was going to leave a message to say thank you for that perfect saturday. but the cars whizzing past me were too loud, i didn't hear the beep so i didn't know if i was supposed to talk now. ah, i decided to put it down. i sent you a text message instead. i thought, hey at least you get to save that. i thanked you for a perfect saturday. :] it was awesome, batman.

i stepped in into the bowling center, where i had no signal for three hours, and i giddily recounted our second date in my head as i waited to get out... and text you again. :]

"we should do this more often, batgirl."

i agree, i agree. :]

2008

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
- Work and go to school full time
- Cry over a guy
- Wear makeup

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any. Better that way.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Two kabarkadas! Caren and Ti

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
- Patience
- Love, in its truest sense.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- December 25. That day you broke my heart.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- Working and going to school full-time.. and acing all my classes. ;)
- Mygod, sacrifice everything for my past relationship.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting my impatience get the best of me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing serious. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Awesome gifts for the people I love.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Parents, especially Mom. Jacky.

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
Tinatanong pa ba yan? Ian Roy.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Clothes and food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Going back to nursing school.
- Getting a new job.
- Seeing kabarkadas -- Maecy, Marga, and JP.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Disturbiaaa!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? Pareho parin e. But fatter sana!
iii. richer or poorer? Richer. Yown!!! 

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
- Read.
- Coupon-shop more.
- Become less trustworthy.
- GUARD MY HEART. YAN! 

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- Let my emotions get the best of me.
- Say things I regret later on.
- Worry about my life

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Cooked a whole feast for the family and just spent it at home.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I loved. And lost.

23. How many one-night stands?
None. 

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Jon and Kate Plus 8, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Agaaain, tinatanong pa ba yan? Ian Roy. But then again, hate is too strong a word. I prefer to be indifferent.

26. What was the best book you read?
- Eat, Pray, Love
- Eclipse
- Flashbang

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Not much. Adele.

"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down."

Matthew 14:22-32 (NIV)

Story of my life. Had I kept my eyes on Jesus and not on the uncertainties, I would've made it across the water. And that huge act of faith would've encouraged the others to get off the boat and walk on water as well. But there's no use crying over that, right? One sincere cry asking Him to save me was enough for Him to pull me out of the water.

Story of my life. :)

When I was younger, I wanted to try everything -- singing, piano, ballet, gymnastics, yada yada. And one summer, my sister and I enrolled in those ice skating lessons in one of the (then) biggest shopping malls in Manila. We loved it. Mom was scheduled to go the US for a vacation a few months after that, and guess what? We both wanted a pair of ice skates. Mom wasn't quite keen on the idea. "Baka ningas cogon* nanaman yan", that's what she said.

Although I hate to admit it, I have a bad habit of starting things and not finishing them. The Last Supper pattern I was cross-stitching years ago is still half done, and I don't even know where it is right now. Some books I've loaned from the library are still well... half read. And so this whole idea of following Jesus was HUGE for me. So huge that I questioned myself, "Can you REALLY do it?"

I also am a huge fan of multitasking. During clinical rotations, watch me go into a patient's room with only a stethoscope in hand and come back with his sheets, diapers, canned feedings, tracheostomies, Foleys as prescribed in tow. I don't like wasting time. If we can go straight to where we're supposed to go, then let's walk straight there. It works sometimes, as with the clinical days where you have to work at a snap of a finger to get everything done.

But it's not the same banana with this Jesus business. While you may be initially required to make a 180-degree turn from your old ways, from there the baby steps are monumental. Crucial. You can't keep on making huge leaps to forego the equally important baby steps. I remember from last Friday's sermon, the pastor said "When we are in pain, we just wanna get it over with." With Jesus, we just want to get to the reward. Forget the journey.

And ugh, again story of my life. Or rather, my ways.

But then again, I think I am learning. And that's a baby step right there.

* Ningas cogon - a Tagalog (I think) idiomatic expression which means "grass flash fire", referring to cogon grass that when set a fire blazed furiously only to watch it quickly die down.